Nope, I am not embarrassed by the 7-1

I went to a pub to see the match with lovely Maria. She's a German friend of mine, one of those people who makes you comfortable and will do anything she can to see you happy. She is really, entirely one of a kind. Sometimes the Universe sends us gifts to remind us that life is not completely horrible, after all. Maria stands with Senthil in that very category. I'm extremely grateful I have them both in my life. 

Football is something that can make me really animated. Actually, I think getting passionate is not that much of a difficult endeavour to me, as I can get intense over unlikely things such as a meal, a poem, the sunshine, a flower, a beautiful, unassuming smile. Sometimes I think that's to do with my horoscope, as I'm a Cancer, and there is a whole narrative surrounding the feelings of this element. I may be a tale of emotions and reverberation, after all. 

But the thing is… I am not really embarrassed by the 7-1. There's many, many reasons I already profoundly dislike 2014. All pretty much linked to my personal life. My depression seems to be back, in full form, just to remind me that I'm not really in charge here. I used to be particularly ashamed of my mental health issues. I no longer feel that way, and it may have to do with the realization that I too am a human being, loaded with flaws, poached in instincts that often times go densely wrong. As of now, human is the only thing I am, and that feels like a victory, to be honest. 

So there is this much anticipated Brazilian defeat at home. I must admit I did feel we were going to lose, but the SEVEN-one never really crossed my mind. So the utter realisation that those men too are humans was somehow liberating to me. I mean, it was a match, but it definitely didn't feel like one, I suppose. Maria got that, and although she was happy that Germany went through, I could see she was not really enjoying it and the reason is very simple: it is not delightful to see mentally shattered people getting massacred like that. It is not nice to see the psychological downfall of any human being, I suppose.

In my personal practice, I've been trying to call attention to the many gruelling nuances of major sports events such as the world cup: the workers who are dying in Qatar, the workers who lost their lives in Brazil, the poor people who got evicted from their homes to give room to stadiums, the poor women who were prevented from selling their traditional foods around the arenas, simply because McDonalds said so.There is this huge issue of child prostitution going on not only in Brazil, but in many parts of the world. All that breaks my heart, and I can't but wonder why exactly people are expecting me to be embarrassed or even apologetic about the 7-1. 

Maybe this has to do with Brazilians being "way too arrogant" about football? Then that would have made total sense had the team lost to Cameroon, as Germans are not exactly the epitome of humility, I guess. I am obviously not talking about all Germans in the world, because that would invalidate what I've exposed in paragraph one and this is just not possible. But yes, when we talk about football, I don't think Germans are the sweetest. 

That's not to say they aren't the best. The goalkeeper was amazing. The players were merciless towards Brazilians but that's how things are supposed to go, according to the system we have in place today. The present narrative - "survival of the fittest" - is a motto for competition. The outcome is dehumanization. People leaving early from that stadium was representative of an inability to deal with humanity. And that match, it felt way too human: the suffering of the Brazilians, and the sadistic smiles of the German players. 

I am obviously sad. Embarrassed, I am not. It took me long, ugly years to get rid of the shame surrounding my being. I may not have complete answers yet, but all in all I don't need to be apologetic anymore: people will come and go, their opinions of me will change like the Irish weather, but I will remain. The thing for football is just a tiny part of my being a Brazilian. The big chunk is resilience, really.

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World Cup of Sexism

I'll start this post with a friend's story. Thaís is my blog partner (I collaborate in a Brazilian feminist blog, Ativismo de Sofá) and I was pretty horrified when she told me what's happened to her, recently. She was walking down a street in Belo Horizonte, the capital city of Minas Gerais, in Brazil. Well, we all know it's World Cup season. Belo Horizonte is now hosting thousands of eager foreign tourists who are up to having a great time and enjoying themselves in Brazil. 

Thaís, just like myself and most Brazilians, loves World Cups. She was all set to have a great time back in BH, but that didn't quite happen and the reason is very simple: sexism. The system consistently reminds women that public and private are completely separate spheres and we are not welcome in the former, but 'naturally belong' in the latter. That's a subtle, yet powerful way to perpetuate gender inequalities. As you might be wondering what exactly has happened to Thaís, well, she got catcalled. Street harassment, pure and simple. Gringos (foreign men) felt entitled to describe to Thaís, in details, the hard way they would fuck her. Gringos wearing English jerseys somehow felt it appropriate to scare a woman in broad daylight. 

Those gringos were not expecting a reaction from Thaís, though. I'd give two reasons for that: 

1. street harassment is territory demarcation: it's men telling women that they should be scared of going outside; it's men telling women that they do NOT belong in the public realm; it's men feeling entitled to a woman's body because she's dared to get out of her home. It's not about genuine appreciation of a woman's beauty: it's about power, and everybody knows that.

2. it's Braseeeeeel, guys! C'mon, men are obviously sanctioned to objectify Brazilian women because whoop! LATINAS! They love it! There's even GQ magazine teaching men how to harass Brazilian women because we are supposedly keen on violence. Besides, Brazilian women idolize European men and are clearly anxious to hear insults on the streets, because an insult coming from a deity isn't actually abuse, but a compliment, right? 

Well, wrong. Thaís answered back and she did it beautifully, by letting them know how sexist they were. She frowned and yelled back at them. They got clearly astonished. Thaís kept on walking, her head up straight, but her heart was broken. She went home and told us the whole story. We were all glad she reacted, but extremely saddened to hear yet another story of everyday sexism. 

The above narrative is one example of many others that might be happening at this very moment. Those guys were just unlucky to mess with a feminist. What happens, though, when they do make advancements towards women who do not necessarily bear the label? Well, Sabina's example is pretty representative, I guess. 

Sabina is a news reporter from São Paulo, and she was working when a Croatian tourist found it appropriate to stop by and kiss her on the cheek. I will give you a minute to let that sink in: a woman is out presenting the news when a guy suddenly pops and drops an unrequested kiss on her cheek. Her reaction? Well, if you speak Portuguese and see the video, you'll realize that she wasn't exactly comfortable with the situation. She, however, acted friendly, because FRIENDLY is what the world expects from us. We should be docile, and accept the act of "admiration". We should keep quiet and if we protest, we are prone to all sorts of backlash, because the "poor guy" was just being nice to her, after all. 

I know it sounds pretty obvious, but I do need to say that this guy wouldn't have done so in his own country. There is an element of othering in the whole story that feels disturbing to me. Furthermore, Marília Moschkovich, a Brazilian cyber activist, hit the nail on the head when she stated: "Sabina Simonato did not ask for nor agreed with the kiss, however light her reaction might have appeared to us". Women pay the price for the world's refusal to talk about consent. 

There's many reasons I am happy with this world cup. Vibes are so good on my timeline that I genuinely felt homesick, after many years away from Brazil. I agree with the many posts that are praising the event, claiming it to be the best world cup ever, or something of the sort. My friend Thaís still enjoys the world cup and she still appreciates the matches. Those jerks won't take that away from her. Nor will they take away my joy in seeing so many people I love having fun. However, the fact that we are having fun will not prevent us from voicing our dissatisfaction with a system that blatantly strips women off their very humanity. #Yesallwomen is our perennial hashtag, and we'll hush no more. 

Just so you know, a Portuguese tourist apparently found it so cool that the Croatian kissed the journalist that he decided that he too should be invasive. Rape cases related to the world cup are slowly making their way into the news, too. That's patriarchy at its best, unfortunately.

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