World Cup of Sexism

I'll start this post with a friend's story. Thaís is my blog partner (I collaborate in a Brazilian feminist blog, Ativismo de Sofá) and I was pretty horrified when she told me what's happened to her, recently. She was walking down a street in Belo Horizonte, the capital city of Minas Gerais, in Brazil. Well, we all know it's World Cup season. Belo Horizonte is now hosting thousands of eager foreign tourists who are up to having a great time and enjoying themselves in Brazil. 

Thaís, just like myself and most Brazilians, loves World Cups. She was all set to have a great time back in BH, but that didn't quite happen and the reason is very simple: sexism. The system consistently reminds women that public and private are completely separate spheres and we are not welcome in the former, but 'naturally belong' in the latter. That's a subtle, yet powerful way to perpetuate gender inequalities. As you might be wondering what exactly has happened to Thaís, well, she got catcalled. Street harassment, pure and simple. Gringos (foreign men) felt entitled to describe to Thaís, in details, the hard way they would fuck her. Gringos wearing English jerseys somehow felt it appropriate to scare a woman in broad daylight. 

Those gringos were not expecting a reaction from Thaís, though. I'd give two reasons for that: 

1. street harassment is territory demarcation: it's men telling women that they should be scared of going outside; it's men telling women that they do NOT belong in the public realm; it's men feeling entitled to a woman's body because she's dared to get out of her home. It's not about genuine appreciation of a woman's beauty: it's about power, and everybody knows that.

2. it's Braseeeeeel, guys! C'mon, men are obviously sanctioned to objectify Brazilian women because whoop! LATINAS! They love it! There's even GQ magazine teaching men how to harass Brazilian women because we are supposedly keen on violence. Besides, Brazilian women idolize European men and are clearly anxious to hear insults on the streets, because an insult coming from a deity isn't actually abuse, but a compliment, right? 

Well, wrong. Thaís answered back and she did it beautifully, by letting them know how sexist they were. She frowned and yelled back at them. They got clearly astonished. Thaís kept on walking, her head up straight, but her heart was broken. She went home and told us the whole story. We were all glad she reacted, but extremely saddened to hear yet another story of everyday sexism. 

The above narrative is one example of many others that might be happening at this very moment. Those guys were just unlucky to mess with a feminist. What happens, though, when they do make advancements towards women who do not necessarily bear the label? Well, Sabina's example is pretty representative, I guess. 

Sabina is a news reporter from São Paulo, and she was working when a Croatian tourist found it appropriate to stop by and kiss her on the cheek. I will give you a minute to let that sink in: a woman is out presenting the news when a guy suddenly pops and drops an unrequested kiss on her cheek. Her reaction? Well, if you speak Portuguese and see the video, you'll realize that she wasn't exactly comfortable with the situation. She, however, acted friendly, because FRIENDLY is what the world expects from us. We should be docile, and accept the act of "admiration". We should keep quiet and if we protest, we are prone to all sorts of backlash, because the "poor guy" was just being nice to her, after all. 

I know it sounds pretty obvious, but I do need to say that this guy wouldn't have done so in his own country. There is an element of othering in the whole story that feels disturbing to me. Furthermore, Marília Moschkovich, a Brazilian cyber activist, hit the nail on the head when she stated: "Sabina Simonato did not ask for nor agreed with the kiss, however light her reaction might have appeared to us". Women pay the price for the world's refusal to talk about consent. 

There's many reasons I am happy with this world cup. Vibes are so good on my timeline that I genuinely felt homesick, after many years away from Brazil. I agree with the many posts that are praising the event, claiming it to be the best world cup ever, or something of the sort. My friend Thaís still enjoys the world cup and she still appreciates the matches. Those jerks won't take that away from her. Nor will they take away my joy in seeing so many people I love having fun. However, the fact that we are having fun will not prevent us from voicing our dissatisfaction with a system that blatantly strips women off their very humanity. #Yesallwomen is our perennial hashtag, and we'll hush no more. 

Just so you know, a Portuguese tourist apparently found it so cool that the Croatian kissed the journalist that he decided that he too should be invasive. Rape cases related to the world cup are slowly making their way into the news, too. That's patriarchy at its best, unfortunately.

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GQ India tells Indian men to harass Brazilian women

I'm a woman, a Brazilian, and I've lived in India for a few years. The one thing I learned from my "Indian experience" has to do with stereotypes. I was able to move beyond them, and will carry this valuable lesson for the rest of my existence. This article, however, is not on my life in India. Today I'm trying to write about the negative effects of stereotyping. 

I came across this article yesterday and I can't say I gasped in horror because in patriarchy nothing surprises me anymore, to be honest. Shocked I am not, but I did get sad. First thing that caught my eyes, the piece was co-authored by a Brazilian lady. I seriously believe she is unaware of how sexism works. Like most people, after all. 

The text lets the reader know, from its outset, that stereotyping is good: "The thing with Brazil is that most of the stereotypes are true." My response to that? Well, clichés are never true. I can't believe I'm writing an article to counter cliché, but that's just how bad things are in the world of today, especially for women. That article is horrid. It goes on: "There’s football and bottoms and all that Carnaval frenzy. There’s the beach and bikinis and bottoms, coffee and caipirinhas and samba and bottoms." Like, really? In a country that struggles with human trafficking, child prostitution and all the disgrace of sex tourism? Is that how Brazil is still being portrayed? With the validation of, alas, Brazilians themselves? I seriously consider running to the hills every time I'm faced with such gross oversimplifications. 

No, I am not saying we are not 'cool' or 'happy' people who appreciate beautiful butts. Problem is, when you think of a whole nation in terms of its 'bottoms', you are objectifying women. I've no issues with being perceived as cool, happy, sexy, or even naive. It seems to me that, as a Brazilian woman, I will be ALWAYS put in the box of sensuality. Even though I'm (ironically) perceived as 'unsexy' by most Brazilians I know. The thing is, at some point in my life I realized I could be an actual human being, not a piece of decoration. Thus, it's not that I mind the label, or something, I just became unimpressed by it. 

It's not hard to get indifferent to a tag that dehumanizes you. It's not difficult to stop identifying yourself with something that is causing so much suffering and distress all over the world. Brazilian women are extremely available because they are socialized into being acutely romantic. I know that because I'm no exception to the rule. It's just that I was lucky enough to find female friends who took my hand and gave me some direction in life. Sorority matters, and I stand by it.

I know it sounds confusing. Like, below the surface of stereotype, Brazilian women are just plain romantic, that's all this is. If you've read my previous article you'll connect the dots, though. The Brazilian woman is not empowering herself through sex. She is rather using it as a tool to keep her man. It's not that she always succeeds, though. When she doesn't, she finds herself immersed in a pool of slut-shaming. She HAS to be sexy, yet she cannot own her sexuality, and this is just sad. This is just a system capitalizing over the bodies of women who are not exactly liberated. 

So what issue do I take at that article, exactly? Well, it ends with the following 'pearl' of wisdom: "Brazilians date much like they play football: aggressively. Move fast and keep trying until you score". It basically tells Indian men that they shouldn't hesitate in harassing Brazilian women. It teaches them that Brazil is a jungle and they shouldn't worry about feelings. After all, when you regard women to a 'savage' status, you owe them no humane treatment whatsoever. The magazine is telling men, line for line, that in the soccer match of life, Brazilian women are actually the ball. 

The thing is: we won't take it anymore. There is resistance, and I am living proof that we can, and WILL, transcend those stereotypes. As I said, a revolution is taking place in Brazil. We've had enough. And if I could offer one piece of advice to any man who is traveling to my country, I would say: if you're going to Brazil in order to get what you wouldn't otherwise in your home country, then don't. You know, many people travel to India in search of spiritual enlightenment and end up severely frustrated. The Brazilian experience may be just the other side of a same coin. Don't be the jerk who is contributing to the maintenance of a pervasive system of oppression.

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Heineken. Sexism. Brazil.

I'm a woman, and I'm Brazilian. Today, I want to tell you a bit about being woman in Brazil. 

Being woman in Brazil means conforming to a set of rules that are often times contradictory in nature. You are expected to be sexy at all times, even when you're sleeping. Seriously, I've seen tutorials on how to wake up in 'good conditions' near a husband/boyfriend/any man. For the record, I still haven't figured what they mean by 'good conditions'. 

Notwithstanding the obligation towards 'sexy', a Brazilian woman is expected to be a 'good girl'. Good as in marriageable. She's a god-fearing creature who will do ANYTHING to keep her man (reads as: forget about her own personality, have no trace of identity, smiiiiiile, in other words, the doormat thing). 

At the same time, the Brazilian woman is expected to be open minded and extremely sexualized. 'Whore in bed, holy in the living room' is a mantra I got accustomed to repeating from a very early age. You have to please, you need to please, otherwise another woman will steal your man from you. You know. It's all about the competition. 

A Brazilian woman is taught that she can't have good female friends. There is no real sense of camaraderie among women, they say. At the same time, you should avoid being friends with guys, as there is no such thing as 'real' friendship between men and women, they think. 

She is also taught that she has to have a good career. But the career, they say, should never come before her man. They put the word 'family' to make it look nicer, though. And the Brazilian woman believes it's normal that she will make all sorts of sacrifice after she's married, for the sake of husband and kids. She's expected to have a male spouse and children even when she's lesbian. The reasoning goes: if she's a lesbian, that's obviously because she hasn't found her man yet. They say. 

The Brazilian woman is told that she has to be extremely kind and exceedingly available if she wants to get married. Yet, people frown upon women who decide not to get married. Something is wrong with them, they say. So, as I mentioned earlier, she has to do anything to keep her man. She shouldn't get slutty, though. Slutty is bad, and it will throw you right in the spinster limbo. Marriage is an asset, and Brazilian women who do get married are somehow perceived as achievers. Whatever.that.means. 

Brazilian women are expected not to smoke: if she smokes she's a whore. She shouldn't drink, either. Good girls just don't. She shouldn't sweat, gain weight, have curly hair, have pubic hair, or hair on the "wrong places". Yellowish teeth? God forbid! Also, she should wear makeup but not too much. She should spend hours trying to achieve a 'natural' look. She should also occupy as little space as possible, and overweight girls suffer with all sorts of fatophobic abuse. She shouldn't bother too much about soccer, either. Soccer is male business, they say. 

Brazilian Slut Walk (neither saints, nor whores, WOMEN!) 

I could go on. The point I wanted to make, though, is that it came as no surprise to me that Heineken decided to advertise its beer on sexist terms. In such a misogynistic scenario, I wouldn't expect a beer brand to tell women to go drinking. Since the Brazilian woman is required to be the null individual I've just described above, Heineken has decided to tell them to go shopping. Apparently, it's the win-win solution for all Brazilian men: send their women to a shoe shop and get rid of all the drama. Just don't ask me what drama they are talking about. I've no idea and I'm afraid no Brazilian woman will precisely know what they mean. 

Heineken and the sexist media in Brazil haven't realized a couple of things, though. The first is that we are changing. Slowly, but steadily. A revolution is taking place in my country at this very moment. We are, in our own good time, raising our voices to speak up against injustice. We are taking ownership over our bodies. We are gathering, sharing, caring for each other. We're telling the media, the bigots, the whole conservative sect of our society that we've had enough. We.won't.stop.

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